"THREE MINUTE THERAPY: You can't judge a book by its cover!" by Peter Robinson
When I picked up Mill Valley therapist Michael Edelstein's new book, and saw the words Three Minute Therapy: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life (Glenbridge Pub.), I immediately was suspicious of another quick fix solution. I was wrong. This thoughtful analysis clearly illustrates from case histories how some basic, practical, mental exercises can relieve different forms of anxiety.
Edelstein covers issues relating to worry, self-esteem, relationships, anger, procrastination, depression, overeating and smoking, panic attacks, money, compulsive drinking, and social anxiety.
In other words, there's something for everybody. And it is presented in a highly readable format with a carefully selected quotation at the beginning of each chapter. He starts the "worry" section with one of my favorite Montaigne quotes: "My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened." When I spoke to Dr. Edelstein about both his practice and the book, he explained, "a successful style of therapy is when clients are taught techniques and strategies that can be used to help them be their own therapists for the rest of their lives."
I asked him the meaning of Three Minute Therapy and how it works. "In our first session I get background information and give an overview, and by the second session we start applying the techniques of Three Minute Therapy."
His book outlines practical exercises of mini Three Minute Therapies, emphasizing the impact of the language we use to speak to ourselves and others. For example, "must" and "should" are good words to avoid. "I use the term 'semantic precision' with my clients: in order to think more accurately it helps to speak more accurately. 'Need' is a necessity, and there really are no necessities in life, just strong preferences. When I work with couples, I suggest they start with the words 'I prefer' when they ask for what they want. This works well and is consistent with the theory of nothing being necessary, just preferred."
His section on ending "self-inflicted pain" stresses that childhood is irrelevant to a client's present problems.
"I explain to clients that it is never events themselves, nor family experiences, that create emotional problems, but the person's view of what happened, the story they make of it, and their present idea about what it meant. I identify the current thinking the client has in their head now and address that thinking as the source of the problem."
"Is the same true for severe trauma?"
"The same is true, even for major tragedies that may have occurrred 20 years ago and continue to cause emotional problems. For example, studies of Holocaust survivors reveal that those who are able to let go of the story about what happened are better able to get on with their lives, rather than the ones who continue to mull over their experiences."
"Where do the popular antidepressants such as Prozac fit into your Three Minute Therapy?"
"It's really up to the individual. When dealing with depression, some clients don't want to use medication, they want to change their thinking on their own. Some with mild depression do want medication, and they also, in tandem, implement the tools they need to deal with life. Usually at some point I help them stop the medication."
One controversial section is his chapter titled "Don't swallow the AA brew," where he uses phrases such a "AA propaganda" and identifies AA as a "religious organization." This is very much open to interpretation, but in the interview he seemed to take a more conciliatory position than the ideas expressed in his book.
"A minority of people can succeed with moderate drinking, but not everyone. The majority probably needs to abstain entirely for the duration of their lives. I didn't deny in that chapter that there are people who do best without drinking and who never have the urge to drink again. But according to AA there's no one with a drinking problem who will ever be able to drink moderately, and I don't think that's true."
Thirty to 40 percent of his clients have addiction problems. He also works with a San Francisco based self-help group called SMART: Self Management and Recovery Training. "The goal of SMART is to give participants strategies to change their unrealistic thinking so they can look at the world as a normalized person and decide for themselves, with the help of techniques and tools, how to deal with their addiction problems." He admitted that in some cases people needed to continue taking drugs and drinking before realizing that they needed to quit.
For readers looking for guidance on life's everyday issues I would highly recommend Michael Edelstein's Three Minute Therapy, and I would endorse what he stresses, that this is not a three minute "cure" but rather a commitment to complete certain exercises on a regular basis, and change one's thinking and actions.
From Peter Robinson's "On the Ferry" column in Commuter Times, October 31, 1997.
Peter Robinson is editor of "San Francisco Books and Travel," and can be reached at (415)381-6671.